Products that will soon be illegal in South Carolina

As threedogheads points out, South Carolina is considering a bill that would ban sex toys. I believe that this law would have unforeseen disastrous consequences. Here are some products that could be construed as illegal under such a ban.

1. The Octodog - "The Octodog brings fun to an ordinary hotdog and meal... Remember to get out the camera! Your photos can be used to win prizes..."
2. Cirque du Soleil.
3. Fritos - because they are a potent aphrodisiac.
4. The entire Kenneth Cole collection.
5. Police uniform costumes - The law might require retailers to ask customers whether they will be using them as Halloween costumes or to re-enact Tom of Finland illustrations.
6. Car battery jumper cables.
7. Post-bachelaureate degrees - Nothing gets me hotter.
8. Cell phones or pagers that vibrate.
9. Personal "massagers".
10. All food products that even slightly resemble genetalia.
11. CSI: Crime Scene Investigations.

And, of course, it would be illegal for Michael to enter South Carolina at any time. Luckily, I doubt that he will ever have the urge to go there.