Tom Waits ♥... Missy Elliott!

In an interview with Pitchfork, Tom Waits professes his love for Missy Elliott. "I'm crazy about her," he said. This is one of only a handful of situations in my life in which I have been simultaneously surprised and not surprised. It's an odd sensation. It's a bit like déjà vu.

Do not be alarmed by any other strange sensations you experience while reading the interview. Unless your left arm suddenly goes numb and you smell vanilla. Then, you may be having a stroke. Or it could be your reaction to Waits' list of strange laws from around the country. Either way, seek immediate medical attention.