New blog address

I think the drama has blown over now. I haven't heard from the crazy ex in months, so I think it's safe to redirect you to my new blog, Army of meh. There isn't much there yet, but more will be added soon. Thank you.

Last post

Due to security reasons, I will no longer be posting at this blog address effective immediately. I will keep the blog active, but comments have been disabled. If you are a regular reader of the blog and would like to know the address for my new one, please e-mail me. It will not be possible to find my new blog unless I give you the address, as it is under a different account with an assumed name. Unfortunately, this is one of several measures I will have to take for my own safety. Thank you for understanding.

Gus playing in fresh laundry this morning

Somebody, please give me an appropriate German adjective starting with 'T'!

So, I promised more about my recent karaoke experience in Tucson.

Upon arriving in town Saturday afternoon, I checked the internet via my phone for a gay bar in the area. I found there was a place with five minutes' walking distance called IBT's, which apparently stood for It's 'Bout Time (though, technically speaking, shouldn't it be It's 'Bout Time's?). Though, after my performance, Ich bin taub might be more appropriate.

When I arrived, I found there was karaoke on the patio. I made chitchat with a nice Iowan boy named J___ while various patrons belted out country ballads and duets from Grease (yes, gay karaoke is exactly like its straight counterpart). The karaoke mistress asked several times if I planned to sing. On some level I wanted to try it, but the notion of singing in public has always terrified me. I'd prefer to be naked in public than sing in public. I finally asked to see her book and started scouring for an appropriate song. I talked myself out of singing and then back into it several times. Finally, I selected "Blister in the Sun" by The Violent Femmes. It was a perfect choice- it had only a few very simple verses and Gordon Gano's original vocal wasn't exactly virtuosic, so mine couldn't be that bad in comparison. I also related to the song well, as there was a time in my adolescence when I frequently got high as a kite, which slightly increased the likelihood that I just might stop to check someone out. Additionally, I occasionally failed to comprehend the causal factors leading to stained sheets, though I suspected that body and beats were involved somehow.

Just before the karaoke ended at about 6 P.M., the karaoke lady called my name. I took the microphone and suggested to all in my audience that if they became thoroughly smashed in the first eight bars before the first lyrics started, it would be highly appreciated and mutually beneficial. I proceeded to tackle two full minutes worth of lyrics with the efficiency of the Japanese and the ardor of a Zen master. Soon it was over and my audience clapped languidly, showing an appreciation appropriate for a toddler's macaroni mosaic. My phobia was conquered, and ich bin verhältnismäßig sicher, daß niemand taub wurde.

J___ went on to help me consummate the traditional American college dormatory experience later that week. I promise to not elaborate on this further.

"Our liberties we prize and our rights we will maintain."

Library school and my right foot

So, it's been a while since I have posted on a regular basis here, but I'm trying earnestly to get back on track. Posting about everything that has happened over the past two months in one post is too daunting, so I'm going to tell the story piecemeal.

At the end of July, I went down to Tucson for the seven-day intensive classroom portion of the first class for my MLS. Let me just say right now, it was an awesome week despite crappy accomodations, losing my debit card and breaking my foot in such a short period. I had a great time and met some really fun and interesting people. These small misfortunes cannot outweigh the overwhelmingly positive experience of that week.

I arrived on a Saturday and checked into Coronado Hall (affectionately dubbed Coronado Hell by its residents without an ounce of hyperbole). The room hadn't been dusted since the first Bush administration, the bed was tiny and the shower head sprayed more water on the floor than in the shower. That first night, I nearly died of hypothermia because I couldn't figure out how to turn the air conditioner down. I started my first day with about two hours of sleep.

Sunday morning, I walked about half a mile from Coronado to the main library where the first sessions were going to be held. My right foot started hurting, but I dismissed it because it sometimes hurts for no apparent reason and is fine an hour later. As the week progressed, my foot didn't stop hurting. It just kept getting worse. Classmates routinely asked me about my increasingly pronounced limp.

I finally saw a doctor at the student clinic on Thursday. The X-ray revealed a stress fracture, most likely the result of spending too much time on the treadmill in the previous several weeks. He put me in a walking cast and gave me crutches. I tried using the crutches to get back to class but I found it much easier just to walk in the boot. I only missed fifteen minutes of class as a result of the whole affair.

In spite of having a challenging week (beyond just the class material) I got an A in the class. I am now taking three online courses, all of which are much more reading-intensive than the first. I am trying to find time to read every day and I find myself with much less free time these days.

As for the foot, I switched to an orthotic shoe about a week and a half ago. It still hurts sometimes if I walk too much. I am back to working out in earnest - I've been to the SRC four times since Saturday. I just have to be careful not to do exercises that put additional weight on my foot. In a few weeks, when I am ready to do cardio again, I have been advised to avoid the treadmill and use the bike or the elliptical instead.

More about my extra-curricular adventures, including my first (sober) stab at karaoke, later.

Two days until my youth is gone forever

Two days before my thirthieth birthday, I have come to an important realization about human nature and how it will likely shape my future. One's list of pet peeves always gets longer as one ages, never shorter.

About a month ago, I was diagnosed with a stress fracture in the second metatarsal of my right foot (more on that later). This has led directly to the addition of one pet peeve to my list: people who don't give up seats on the bus for someone who obviously needs one. A couple weeks ago, when I was still wearing a clunky walking cast up to my knee, I boarded the bus home from campus. All the side-facing seats were full. One individual was taking up three seats with his various and sundry baggage and oversized ass. I can't fit comfortably in a forward-facing seat normally, as I am 6'1" and seats on city buses are designed, apparently, for dwarves. With the boot, it would have been an impossible fit. I stood on one leg for almost a mile, trying to make eye contact with one of the occupants of the side-facing seats would get the hint. I didn't want to pause my iPod to actually speak to anyone because I prefer my iPod to human interaction. Finally, I reached the limit of my patience and I exclaimed, "Could somebody please give their seat to the gentleman with the BROKEN FOOT?!" Someone did give me their seat, but it wasn't Mr. My-backpack-is-more-important-than-any-human, unfortunately.

Another pet peeve formed this afternoon in ASU's Student Recreation Center. It was only my third time back since breaking my foot and it's much more crowded than I remember. This, in itself, is not a problem if people generally follow basic gym etiquette. However, these common-sense protocols were apparently beyond the grasp of two young men who sat chatting on two pieces of equipment. Neither was actually using the equipment, but rather playing. One jauntily pressed the foot pedal on the seated chest press, rhythmically letting the weights slam back on top of the stack as he released his foot. The other played with the seat adjustment knob on the seated row, unscrewing it completely and fumbling to screw it back one, then repeating the exercise anew. I watched the pair scornfully as I earnestly completed my sets on each machine in the row and moved closer and closer. Thankfully, they decided to move on just before I was finished with the seated shoulder press. I'm glad I didn't have to yell at them. Despite my reputation for misanthropy, I don't really enjoy yelling at people. It's just necessary sometimes.

This is the process by which deep, brooding young men turn into cranky old men. I just didn't think it would happen to me so quickly.

A farewell to bacon

I am in mourning. Recent bloodwork has revealed that my cholesterol is elevated and I must now eliminate red meat and dairy from my diet entirely.

Oh, bacon, how I will always cherish the times we had together! I remember the summer that Scott A. took me to Lenny's and introduced me to the Mexican burger: bacon, jalapeños, mayo, two kinds of cheese and a giant slab of medium-rare beef. All are gone now, banished like tortured ghosts. All that remains for me is the hollow bun, searching unceasingly for warm, gooey companionship, much like myself. Though they have snatched you all from my greasy hands and mouth, I will carry a part of you in my heart. In my arteries, anyway.

Out of blogging hiatus to oppose the OPRA!

I was planning on posting more completely about what's been going on in my life these past two months, but I have to bring to your attention an outrageous and heinous piece of legislation being debated before Congress right now. Write or call your Rep. and tell them you are against OPRA!


Live From Congress: The OPRA

Ch-ch-ch-changes

I'm going to try to decribe briefly the changes that have been happening in the past month or so.

Michael and I are no longer together. It's a really long story and I don't want to bore you with all the details and I feel a sense of obligation to protect Michael's privacy, so I'll just condense it. Keep in mind that this is my perspective and that he is likely to disagree with me on what really happened. From my point of view, Michael was upset that he couldn't get his way about something in our relationship so he threw a fit, tried to convince me that it was about something other than his desire to be in control, involved an innocent third party who wanted no part of it and tried to complicate my life in retaliation. I really feel that he betrayed me in the worst way and, in the process, guaranteed that I could never again have him in my life in any capacity. Anyway, his little stunt backfired and I have managed to stabilize the drama with the third party and remove Michael from the loop. She is free to continue her friendship with Michael, of course, but she has promised not to let him pump her for information.

I was very upset for a few days but my serenity returned more quickly than I could have anticipated. In fact, I had to wonder why it didn't hurt as long or as intensely as I should. Truthfully, the episode highlighted some things about his character that I had known on some level for a long time. For example, at different stages of our relationship, I found that he had lied to me about his age, his job, his education, his heritage and his economic background. To his credit, he came clean voluntarily about all these things, which couldn't have been easy. However, the fact that he felt he needed to lie about these things to begin with, none of which I would have cared about, shows that he lacked the scruples I wanted to believe he had. The moment I found out about the first lie and I chose to continue, I was no longer being true to myself, and for that I have nobody to blame but myself. I think this is why I found myself feeling liberated when it was over.

I know that my earlier posts portrayed a much rosier picture of our relationship. This is because a) I wanted to believe that things were good and b) you just don't broadcast your partner's faults to the world when you are trying to preserve and fortify your relationship. Even my closest friends didn't know about the pattern of lies until after the break-up. Perhaps if I had been more forthcoming, they would have encouraged me to move on much earlier.

The rest is almost all good news. I adopted a new cat named Gus. He's beautiful and wonderful. He and Sugarfoot are now partners in crime. I couldn't have asked for a smoother transition for Gus into his new home. He is happy and we (my roommate, the other animals and me) are all happy to have him.

I had my colonoscopy, upper endoscopy and two biopsies and the news is mixed. The good news is that there is no sign of infection or abnormal growth. The bad news is I have erosive esophagitis (no surprise there), a sliding hiatal hernia and what they are calling a non-specific ulcerative proctitis. Translation: they don't know what's causing it, but they know what's not causing it. The gastroenterologist is operating under the assumption that it's acute and will go away with medication and better diet. It hasn't so far. I have a follow-up appointment next week so we'll go from there.

I was passed over for the supervisor position. This is actually a good thing because now that I've had a taste of what it entails, I want nothing to do with it. The really good news is they have made an offer to a candidate who has accepted and will start in about two weeks. I know who it is and they are a good choice. I look forward to passing some of these duties back onto someone better equipped to handle them.

I started my first class for my Masters program this week. I have been reading like a maniac, not just for the daunting deadlines, but because I'm really interested in the material. Soon I will arrange my accomodations and transportation for the required week-long residency in Tucson. I'm really eager to tackle the material and get everything I can out of this course.

That's it for now. More soon.

8 things = excuse to start blogging

I have a lot of stuff to blog about that has happened in the past month or so, but I will save it for another post.  Right now, I will respond to the meme that Grumpator has tagged me with to get me to blog again.

This meme asks the blogger, i.e., me, to list 8 random things about himself.  Here we go:

1. I actually have very traditional ideas about marriage, in a sense.  I am 100% for legal marriage equality, of course, but beyond that my notions of wedlock are pretty conservative.  I think that marriage should, ideally, be permanent and monogamous.  Of course, there are times when divorce is warranted.  However, I think most divorces could be avoided if people actually got to know each other thoroughly before getting married and then didn't give up when things got challenging after getting married.
2. I used to own a coffin.  How I ended up with the coffin is fairly inconsequential. However, how I got rid of it is much more interesting. I sold it to an acquaintance I had not seen for a number of years previous.  He offered to take it off my hands and I accepted his offer, not really having enough space for it anymore.  Later, I remembered how I had met him years earlier: we had met at a Halloween party where he was dressed as death.
3. I am not usually squeamish about watching gory movies or surgical procedures on Discovery Health. One thing that I do get squeamish about, however, is feet. I cannot look at foot injuries of any kind. I think this is because my step-brother shot me in the foot with a BB gun when I was a kid.
4. I share my birthday, August 30th, with Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley and John Peel.  I share it with many other celebrities but I feel a particular affinity for these two figures. Shelley because we both have unusual dreams and Peel because we share a passion for discovering new music.
5. The first album I purchased with my own money was Cosmic Thing by The B-52's.
6. My elementary school classified me as mentally retarded because I had severe speech and coordination problems and had lots of trouble socializing with peers. To this day, I don't know exactly why.  I was tested for autism but it was eliminated as a possible diagnosis. My mother told me many years later that I had been diagnosed with a form of epilepsy due to absence seizures, but she later denied ever saying it. I don't think I'll ever know the truth about my medical history.  In any case, I overcame most of these obstacles, though I'm still rather clumsy.
7. I have a pronounced suprainiac fossa, a skull feature not generally found in modern humans. Homo neanderthalensis had suprainiac fossae but not as large as mine.  My Fossil Hominids professors were baffled by it.
8. Every time I shave, I think about the episode of Diff'rent Strokes in which Arnold buys a defective toy train.  I have no idea how that association got started but it persists to this day.

I'm not tagging anyone because I don't know who's reading my blog anymore.  If you do read this, please feel free to continue the meme and send me a link.

I will have more later, I promise.

Long overdue blogging

Okay, okay, it has been over a month since I last blogged. So much has been going on I hardly know where to start.

First and most importantly, I have been accepted to U of A's School of Information Resources and Library Science. I will begin work on my Master's degree next month. It's a distance program, so I can continue living and working in the Phoenix area. In July I will go to Tucson for a seven-day intensive, but beyond that, I never have to physically return to complete my degree.

My boss' last day was last Friday. For the near future, I will handle all the duties related to supervision and coordination of student workers. They have reclassified her position to Library Supervisor Sr. but, remarkably, I can still make a case that I meet the minimum qualifications. I intend to apply for the position. This would be a significant increase in my salary, but it's still a long shot. I will hope for the best but I won't be too heart-broken if I don't get it.

The paleunderweight podcast is, obviously, done. I felt that I had covered the territory very thoroughly and it was just getting old. I would still love to start podcasting again, but I think I would like it to be a collaborative effort. I know someone on campus that has similar taste in music to mine and podcasting experience, so I might ask him if he would like to collaborate.

I would like to start writing recommendations again soon. There have been a handful of releases this year that I have thoroughly enjoyed. I just have to muster the motiviation to blog more often.

Pooh is still hanging in there. He has even gained weight since his diagnosis. The threat doesn't seem so immediate anymore, though Michael and I both know it is there. We are looking at this as a blessing. Pooh has been given more time in which he can still enjoy life.

I have been having digestive problems for quite a while now, which I had always blamed on poor diet and sedentary lifestyle. In recent months, however, I have improved my diet considerably, started drinking large quantities of water and started working out almost daily. This has not had the positive effect on my digestion I had been hoping for. My doctor prescribed some medications that have not helped either. We are now operating under the theory that I might have a constriction or obstruction somewhere. I have an appointment with a gastroenterologist Friday. Hopefully he will come up with a better theory or schedule me for tests that will confirm or rule out the current one. The best outcome I can hope for is a simple, painless, inexpensive, permanent solution. However, if surgery is necessary, I can accept it if it will improve my quality of life. Anyway, I'm getting ahead of myself. First things first, as they say.

Bedtime soon. Time for my herbal tea. I will blog again much sooner this time, I swear.

paleunderweight podcast 34

Final episode coming soon. (Don't panic; explanation forthcoming.)

1. Gruff Rhys: "Gyrru Gyrru Gyrru"
2. XTC: "Complicated Game"
3. Modest Mouse: "Ohio"
4. Cocteau Twins: "Little Spacey"
5. Dean & Britta: "You Turned My Head Around"
6. Pinetop Seven: "Easy Company"
7. Patrick Wolf: "This Weather"
8. Tujiko Noriko: "In a Chinese Restaurant"
9. Prefuse 73: "Uprock and Invigorate (A Prefuse/Dabrye Production)"
10. !!!: "Heart of Hearts"
11. Panda Bear: "Good Girl/Carrots"
12. Amon Tobin: "Horsefish"
13. Dälek: "Stagnant Waters"
14. The Arcade Fire: "Intervention"

Pinetop Seven: The Night's Bloom

Datarock: Datarock Datarock

Cocteau Twins: Victorialand

King Crimson: Red

Hrvatski: Swarm & Dither

Dean & Britta: Back Numbers

Prefuse 73: One Word Extinguisher

Modest Mouse: This Is a Long Drive for Someone With Nothing to Think About

Patrick Wolf: Wind in the Wires

Morrissey: Live at Earl's Court

The New Pornographers: Mass Romantic

XTC: Drums and Wires

Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds: Nocturama

!!!: Myth Takes

The Arcade Fire: Neon Bible

Wolf & Cub: Vessels
Amon Tobin: Foley Room

Tujiko Noriko: Solo

Panda Bear: Person Pitch

Audionom: Retrospektiv

Gruff Rhys: Candylion

Dälek: Abandoned Language

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Overdue blogging

For a variety of reasons, I haven't been blogging much recently, and I haven't shared anything from my life other than what I've been listening to in weeks.

The bad news is that Poo has lymphoma. He doesn't seem to be suffering at the moment other than throwing up here and there. As I mentioned previously, Michael decided to give Poo a couple of weeks of comfort at home before it's time for him to "graduate" (we aren't using the 'd' word right now - except maybe "denial"). When the time comes, the veterinarian will come to Michael's apartment. This way, Poo can live his last moments at home, rather than at the vet's office. Though these were Michael's decisions, I'm sure I would do the same in his situation and I support him completely.

I am almost ready to send off my application to U of A. I received my official GRE results and transcripts last week and I have both letters of recommendation. I just need to finish my C.V. and letter of intent (hopefully tonight). I would have completed them by now but I have been laid up with a stomach bug since Monday. If all goes right, I will mail it tomorrow and hopefully receive a response by the end of March.

I am anxiously awaiting my copy of Ink, the sequel to Hal Duncan's Vellum. I pre-ordered to through Amazon and it shipped a few days ago. I'm hoping it arrives this week.

That's all for now. I have a lot more to post but my digestive system has other plans for me right now.

paleunderweight podcast 33

Coming soon.

1. Kevin Hewick & New Order: "Haystack"
2. Beirut: "Elephant Gun"
3. Pere Ubu: "Chinese Radiation"
4. Kristin Hersh: "The Thin Man"
5. Of Montreal: "She's a Rejecter"
6. The Paper Chase: "At the Other End of the Leash"
7. Nine Inch Nails: "Closer (Precursor)"
8. DJ Drama & Lil Wayne: "Ridin With the A.K."
9. Soft Circle: "Sundazed"
10. Thomas Dolby: "Airwaves"
11. Shining: "Stalemate Longan Runner"
12. Alexis Gideon: "Playground"
13. Trans Am: "First Words"
14. Vietnam: "Step On Inside"
15. Deerhoof: "Believe E.S.P."
16. Papercuts: "Found Bird"
17. Okkervil River: "Another Radio Song"

Trans Am: Sex Change

Field Music: Tones of Town

Soft Circle: Full Bloom

Deerhunter: Cryptograms

Arbouretum: Rites of Uncovering

Of Montreal: Hissing Fauna, Are You the Destroyer?

Alexis Gideon: Welcome Song

Beirut: Lon Gisland EP

Deerhoof: Friend Opportunity

Kristin Hersh: Learn to Sing Like a Star

V/A: From Brussels With Love

Pere Ubu: The Modern Dance

The Paper Chase: Now You Are One of Us

Nine Inch Nails: Closer to God EP

Dj Drama & Lil Wayne: Dedication 2: Gangta Grillz

Okkervil River: Black Sheep Boy Appendix

Papercuts: Can't Go Back

Pop Levi: The Return to Form Black Magick Party

Shining: Grindstone

Vietnam: Vietnam

Rhys Chatham: A Crimson Grail (For 400 Electric Guitars)

paleunderweight podcast 32

Now available.

1. The Postmarks: "Know Which Way the Wind Blows"
2. The Slits: "Slits Tradition"
3. Dengue Fever: "Made of Steam"
4. Boards of Canada: "Alpha and Omega"
5. Vieux Farka Touré: "Courage"
6. Jesse Sykes & The Sweet Hereafter: "Spectral Beings"
7. Klaxons: "Gravity's Rainbow"
8. Lucinda Willams: "Wrap My Head Around That"
9. Black Mountain: "Modern Music"
10. Caetano Veloso: "Deusa Urbana"
11. Menomena: "Ghostship"
12. Frida Hyvönen: "Come Another Night"
13. Will Oldham: "Disorder"
14. David Daniell: "Sunfish"
15. Scritti Politti: "Petrococadollar"
16. The Thermals: "Test Pattern"
17. Martha Wainwright: "Far Away"

Vieux Farka Touré: Vieux Farka Touré

Caetano Veloso: Cê

Xavier Rudd: Food in the Belly

The Streets: A Grand Don't Come for Free

Black Devil Disco Club: 28 After

Aesop Rock: All Day: Nike+ Original Run

Frida Hyvönen: Until Death Comes

Martha Wainwright: Martha Wainwright

Boards of Canada: Geogaddi

The Slits: Revenge of the Killer Slits EP

Klaxons: Myths of the Near Future

David Daniell: Coastal

The Thermals: The Body, the Blood, the Machine

Lou Reed: Metal Machine Music

Black Mountain: Black Mountain

Tense day

Today should have been a happy, carefree day for Michael and I to celebrate. Instead, we both have knots in our stomachs, waiting for what could very well be devastating news.

I don't want to go into too much detail just yet, but the long and the short of it is that Michael's cat, Poo, is very sick. His condition has deteriorated over the past couple of weeks. He has now been in the animal hospital since yesterday morning undergoing successively invasive tests which culminated in exploratory surgery and a biopsy. We may have to wait up to a week to find out Poo's fate.

Understandably, we are both sick with worry, especially Michael. Right now I'm just trying to stay in the present and not focus too much on worst case scenarios, while trying to prepare myself for providing emotional support to Michael through challenging times.

In spite of facing some disheartening possibilities, I have some good news to report. I found people willing to write my letters of recommendation for my application to graduate school. I also have a meeting with a former coworker tomorrow to go over my curriculum vitae and letter of intent. I am ordering transcripts from ASU and Phoenix College tonight after my direct deposit goes in. I should get my official GRE results any day now. All this means I will probably be able to submit my application by the 28th.

That's all for now. More later.

Yesterday and today's listening

Dengue Fever: Escape From Dragon House

Will Oldham: Arise, Therefore

Scritti Politti: White Bread Black Beer

Jesse Sykes & The Sweet Hereafter: Like, Love, Lust and the Open Halls of the Soul

Lucinda Williams: West

The Postmarks: The Postmarks

Menomena: Friend and Foe

paleunderweight podcast 31

Now available.

1. Yoko Ono feat. Antony and Hahn Rowe: "Toy Boat"
2. Lily Allen: "Littlest Things"
3. Arab Strap: "Dream Sequence"
4. The Shins: "Sea Legs"
5. Talk Talk: "Desire"
6. Bloc Party: "Kreuzberg"
7. Kate & Anna McGarrigle: "Talk to Me of Mendocino"
8. Edan: "Torture Chamber"
9. Chris and Cosey: "Exotika"
10. David Bowie: "Moss Garden"
11. Magazine: "Burst"
12. Lou Reed: "The Kids"
13. COIL: "Amethyst Deceivers"
14. Björk: "5 Years"

Today's listening

The Shins: Wincing the Night Away

Dosh: The Lost Take

Lily Allen: Alright, Still

Arab Strap: The Last Romance

Ladytron: 604

Kate & Anna McGarrigle: Kate & Anna McGarrigle

Talk Talk: Spirit of Eden

Today's listening

Chris and Cosey: Exotika

COIL: Moon's Milk (In Four Phases)

Edan: Beauty and the Beat

Björk: Homogenic

Today's listening

Rickie Lee Jones: The Sermon on Exposition Boulevard

Bloc Party: A Weekend in the City

Loney, Dear: Loney, Noir

Yoko Ono: Yes, I'm a Witch